Reasons Why Great Dane Should Be in Charge of the House
Reasons Why Great Dane Should Be in Charge of the House
Great Danes deserve household leadership because they’ve already claimed it through strategic furniture occupation and sheer physical presence. My Dane doesn’t need to bark orders—she just stands there and everyone cooperates. Between her mastered puppy eyes, built-in security system, and uncanny ability to end arguments by flopping between feuding parties, she’s basically a 150-pound life coach. If you’re curious how these gentle giants run such a tight ship, there’s plenty more to uncover.
They Already Dominate the Furniture
My Great Dane doesn’t share the couch—she generously allows me a corner of it.
I’ve learned to appreciate this small territory she’s granted me, wedged between her sprawling legs and the armrest.
The furniture dominance started gradually.
First, she claimed the ottoman.
Then the loveseat.
Now she’s sprawled across my bed like she’s paying the mortgage.
I sleep in a careful diagonal to accommodate her comfort.
Some people imagine cozy companions as lap dogs curled neatly beside them.
I’ve 150 pounds of “lap dog” who believes she fits perfectly in spaces designed for decorative pillows.
My recliner has become her throne.
The dining chairs? Also hers.
I didn’t lose this battle.
I simply never stood a chance. Great Danes encourage a slower pace of life, promoting relaxation and a sense of security in the home.
Their Size Commands Instant Respect
When a Great Dane walks into a room, conversations pause. There’s no barking required, no aggressive posturing—just 150 pounds of quiet confidence that says, “I’m here now.” Their size advantages aren’t about intimidation; they’re about undeniable presence. You can’t ignore something that blocks your entire doorway.
Situation Great Dane Effect
Delivery person arrives Instant authority established through window
Stranger approaches yard One glance, problem solved
Kids won’t settle down Dog stands up, silence follows
Other pets act up Single look restores order
I’ve watched my Dane resolve household disputes simply by existing in the general vicinity. No growling necessary. Just strategic placement of an enormous body and a single raised eyebrow. Their ability to act as a natural protector without excessive barking creates a calm environment in the home.
They Have Mastered the Art of Persuasion Through Puppy Eyes
I’m convinced my Great Dane took a masterclass in emotional manipulation because those puppy eyes could convince me to hand over my entire dinner plate.
Despite weighing more than most adult humans, she’s perfected the art of looking absolutely pitiful and starving, as if she hasn’t eaten in weeks rather than hours.
One soulful gaze from those enormous brown eyes, and suddenly I’m questioning whether I really needed that last bite of steak anyway. Their ability to sense human emotions makes them an emotional support like no other, enhancing their persuasive skills even further.
Irresistible Begging Techniques
Nobody can resist those eyes—and my Great Dane knows it.
She’s refined her begging techniques to an art form that would make professional negotiators jealous. One slow blink, a gentle head tilt, and suddenly I’m sharing my sandwich.
The irresistible charm isn’t accidental. She’s calculated every move.
She positions herself at perfect eye level when I’m on the couch, making escape impossible. Her massive head rests on my knee with theatrical precision while those brown eyes bore into my soul.
I’ve watched grown adults crumble within seconds. They arrive declaring they won’t feed her from the table.
They leave having surrendered half their dinner. She doesn’t bark or whine. She simply stares and waits, knowing full well that patience always wins.
Eyes That Melt Hearts
Those puppy eyes deserve their own section because they’re the secret weapon behind every successful begging campaign.
I’ve watched my Great Dane perfect the heart melting gaze over years of practice. It’s honestly unfair.
Their soulful expressions communicate volumes without a single bark:
The slow blink that says “I haven’t eaten in decades”
The head tilt paired with slightly raised eyebrows
The look of utter betrayal when you eat without sharing
The gentle stare that follows your fork from plate to mouth
I’m convinced Great Danes attend secret classes on emotional manipulation.
Those massive, liquid brown eyes carry more persuasive power than any argument I could make. They don’t beg. They simply remind you that saying no feels like a crime.
Their Protective Instincts Keep Everyone Safe
When a Great Dane decides something doesn’t belong near your property, you’ll know about it immediately—and so will everyone within a three-block radius.
Their guarding instincts are genuine, even if the “threat” is sometimes a plastic bag blowing across the lawn. These family protectors take their jobs seriously, positioning themselves between you and any perceived danger with surprising speed for their size.
Threat Level Great Dane Response Actual Threat
Stranger at door Deep, thunderous bark Delivery driver
Suspicious noise Full alert mode Squirrel on fence
Unfamiliar car Window patrol duty Neighbor’s new vehicle
I’ve watched mine escort guests from room to room, just casually supervising. Nothing gets past that watchful gaze. Their strong attachment system to humans makes them incredibly loyal guardians who are always on alert for potential threats.
They Maintain a Strict Schedule for Meals and Walks
Great Danes come equipped with an internal clock more accurate than any smartphone alarm. Mine has never missed a meal by more than thirty seconds, and honestly, I’ve given up on meal planning because he’s already decided when we’re eating.
Their commitment to an exercise routine puts my gym membership to shame. Here’s what happens when you’re three minutes late:
The dramatic sigh that shakes the furniture
The pointed stare that questions your life choices
The gentle paw on your knee that weighs forty pounds
The slow walk to the leash, looking back disappointedly
I’ve stopped setting reminders.
Why would I need technology when I’ve a 150-pound accountability partner who takes punctuality personally? Plus, their need for daily exercise ensures that we both stay active and healthy together.
Their Calm Temperament Makes Them Natural Mediators
My Great Dane has appointed himself the household’s unofficial peace negotiator, and honestly, he’s better at it than most humans I know.
When tensions rise between family members, he simply positions his massive body between the opposing parties and stares with such profound disappointment that everyone immediately feels ridiculous.
It’s hard to stay mad at your sibling when 150 pounds of gentle giant is leaning against your legs, sighing like he’s seen too much conflict in his short life. Great Danes are known for their loyalty and calm demeanor, which makes them the perfect companions for diffusing family disputes.
Diffusing Household Tensions Easily
Although most dogs react to raised voices by either joining the chaos or fleeing to another room, Great Danes tend to do something remarkably different—they’ll calmly position themselves between the arguing parties like a 150-pound furry diplomat.
This tension relief strategy works surprisingly well when you can’t see your opponent over a massive spotted head.
Their approach to stress management includes:
Leaning their full body weight against the loudest person until they physically can’t continue arguing
Making direct eye contact that somehow communicates “you’re being ridiculous”
Sighing dramatically at volumes that demand acknowledgment
Forcing physical distance by simply existing in the space between combatants
I’ve found it’s difficult to maintain righteous anger when a gentle giant is judging you silently.
Patient With All Family
When a toddler decides that a Great Dane’s ear makes an excellent handle, most dogs would object—loudly and immediately. Not your Dane. They’ll simply sigh, shift slightly, and wait for the tiny human to lose interest.
I’ve watched this unfold countless times. Their gentle demeanor isn’t weakness—it’s strategy. Why escalate when you can simply outlast?
Teenagers slam doors, cats steal beds, and toddlers commit daily crimes against personal space. Through it all, your Great Dane maintains composure that would shame a meditation instructor.
This unwavering loyalty extends to every family member equally, regardless of how annoying they’re being on any given Tuesday. They don’t pick favorites or hold grudges. They just… wait. Patiently. Like a furry, 150-pound Buddha.
Gentle Giants Stay Relaxed
That Buddha-like patience does more than help your Dane survive family chaos—it actually makes them surprisingly effective at defusing household tension.
I’ve watched my Dane’s relaxed presence work like a reset button during stressful moments. Their gentle demeanor is contagious—it’s hard to stay wound up when a 150-pound dog is peacefully snoring through your drama.
Here’s what their calm energy brings to your home:
Arguments lose steam when everyone pauses to pet the unbothered giant
Stressed family members gravitate toward their steady, grounding presence
Anxious pets settle down faster with a calm pack leader nearby
Tense silences become comfortable when filled with contented sighs
They don’t fix problems. They just make the room feel like problems are optional.
Conclusion
Let’s face it—when you’re sharing your home with a dog that can weigh up to 175 pounds and stand taller than most kitchen counters, you’re really just a tenant in their domain. I’ve made my peace with being middle management in my own household. The Great Dane doesn’t need a formal title; they’ve already claimed the couch, your heart, and apparently, all decision-making authority.